Online dating safety tips for Filipinas

Before you start chatting

• Use what the app gives you. On Liyag, the verified badge means a live selfie matched the profile photos. Switch on Verified only if you want to see nobody else.
• Keep your profile warm but vague. Your city or region is enough. Leave out your exact barangay, your workplace, your school and your surname.
• Use photos that are not on your public social media. It makes it harder for someone to find your accounts with a reverse image search.

While you are chatting

• Stay in the app at first. In-app chats can be reported, and on Liyag screenshots are blocked. Move to WhatsApp or Messenger only when you are comfortable.
• Hold back the details that locate you. Your address, your daily routine, the jeep or train you take, where your parents live.
• Video call before you meet. A few minutes is enough to confirm that the person is who they say, and to get a feel for how they treat you.
• Notice how they respond to a "no". Someone who sulks, pushes or guilt-trips when you set a small boundary will not respect a big one.

Planning the first date

• Meet in a busy public place. A café, a mall food court, a restaurant at lunch or early evening. Malls are popular for first dates in the Philippines for good reason: they are public, well lit, and easy to leave.
• Get there and back on your own. Take your own Grab, taxi or commute, and do not accept a ride to or from the first date. In Grab, use Share My Ride so a friend can follow the trip.
• Tell a friend. Send them his name, his profile, where you are going and when you expect to be home. Share your live location if you like.
• Keep it short. Coffee or merienda is easier to end early than a long dinner or a day trip.
• Bring enough money. Enough to pay for yourself and get home, so you never feel you owe anyone anything.

On the date

• Keep your drink with you, and order a new one if you lose sight of it.
• Drink less than you would with friends, or not at all.
• Do not go back to his place, or invite him to yours, on a first meeting.
• You can leave at any time, for any reason, without explaining. "I need to go" is a complete sentence.

Red flags worth trusting

• He refuses to video call, or the camera is always broken.
• He asks for money, load, or help with a payment. See how to spot a romance scam.
• He pushes to meet somewhere private, or to change plans at the last minute.
• He asks for intimate photos, or sends explicit ones you did not ask for.
• He gets angry or cold when you say no to something.
• His story about his job, age or family keeps shifting.

If something goes wrong

• If you are in danger, call 911.
• Report the account in the app, from the profile or chat.
• If someone shares or threatens to share intimate images of you, that is a crime under the Anti-Photo and Video Voyeurism Act (RA 9995). Keep the evidence and report it to the PNP or NBI. The PNP Women and Children Protection Center handles cases involving women.
• Talk to someone you trust. You do not have to handle it alone.

Common questions