How to spot a romance scam

How romance scams work

A romance scammer is not looking for a partner. They are running a sales funnel, often as part of an organised group working many conversations at once. The goal is to build enough trust and emotion that, when a request for money finally arrives, saying no feels like betraying someone you care about.

Almost every scam moves through the same stages:

1. Fast connection. Lots of attention, compliments and talk of destiny in the first days.
2. Moving off the app. A push to continue on WhatsApp, Telegram or Messenger, away from the dating app's reporting tools.
3. A reason they cannot meet. Working abroad, on an oil rig, at sea, deployed with the military, or "about to fly home soon".
4. The problem. A sudden emergency, a stuck package, a frozen bank account, or a can't-miss investment.
5. The ask. Money through GCash, Maya, a bank transfer, remittance centre, gift cards or crypto. Then another ask, and another.

Ten warning signs

• They say "I love you" or talk about marriage within days.
• Their photos look like a model's, or appear under a different name in a reverse image search.
• They always have a reason not to video call: broken camera, bad signal, strict employer.
• They want to leave the app quickly, before you have met.
• Their story has small contradictions: the city they live in, their age, their children's names.
• Their English or Filipino changes style from one message to the next, as if different people are typing.
• They are always about to visit, and something always stops the trip at the last minute.
• They ask you to keep the relationship secret from family and friends.
• They mention money they are owed, an inheritance or a business deal long before they ask for anything.
• They ask for money, load, an e-wallet transfer, or help "receiving" a payment. This one is decisive.

The scripts most common in the Philippines

The package or customs fee

A foreign "partner" says they have sent you a gift: jewellery, a phone, cash, sometimes a balikbayan box. Days later, a "courier" or "customs officer" contacts you. The package is held, and you must pay a clearance fee before it can be released. The package does not exist. Real customs charges are paid through official channels, not to a personal account or e-wallet number someone messages you.

The investment or crypto platform

Your match is unusually successful and keen to help you earn too. They show screenshots of profits and guide you to a trading app or website. Your first small deposit shows a healthy return, so you deposit more. When you try to withdraw, there is a "tax" or "verification fee" to pay first. This pattern is often called pig butchering, and losses can be very large.

The emergency

A hospital bill, a robbery while travelling, a visa problem, an employer who has not paid. The amount is usually something you could just about manage, and the deadline is always urgent.

The sextortion trap

The conversation turns sexual quickly, and you are encouraged to send intimate photos or join a video call. The call is recorded, and then the demand arrives: pay, or the video goes to your family, friends or employer. Sharing intimate images without consent is a crime under the Anti-Photo and Video Voyeurism Act (RA 9995), and threats made online can be prosecuted under the Cybercrime Prevention Act (RA 10175).

The fake OFW or seafarer

Scammers know how many Filipino families have someone abroad, so they borrow that story. A real OFW can still video call on a day off, and will not need you to send money to them overseas.

How to check someone is real

• Look for the verified badge. On Liyag, a verified profile has passed a live selfie check against its own photos. You can switch on Verified only to see nobody else.
• Video call before you meet. A short, live video call defeats most fake profiles. Be wary of a call where the camera is always "too dark" or the video looks like a loop.
• Reverse image search their photos. Use Google Lens or TinEye. If the same face appears under other names, stop.
• Ask local questions. Someone who says they grew up in Iloilo should be able to tell you their favourite batchoy place without searching for it.
• Talk to someone you trust. Scammers rely on secrecy. A friend outside the situation can often see what you cannot.

What to do if you have been targeted

1. Stop sending money. Do not pay any further "fee", even if they promise it is the last one.
2. Contact your bank or e-wallet immediately. Report the transfer as fraud. The sooner you call, the better the chance of stopping or tracing it.
3. Keep the evidence. Save chats, profile names, account numbers, reference numbers and receipts before the scammer deletes anything.
4. Report it. Call the Cybercrime Investigation and Coordinating Center hotline 1326, or report to the PNP Anti-Cybercrime Group or the NBI Cybercrime Division. If you are in danger, call 911.
5. Report the profile on Liyag. Use the report option on the profile or chat so the account can be removed before it reaches someone else.
6. Beware of recovery scams. Anyone who contacts you offering to get your money back for a fee is very likely part of the same operation.

Being scammed is not a sign that you are foolish. These groups are professional, patient and good at what they do. Talking about it is how the next person avoids it.

Common questions